Nameless Surgeon

It was Wednesday morning when my partner and I woke up very early at 5am to surpass the morning traffic jam. We were heading to Mbagathi hospital where I had an appointment with Medical Supritendant at Mbagathi District Hospital Dr. P to be at the hospital before 9am. The appointment was arranged by a long time friend and Jinsiangu’s ally Jenny. We met several obstacles on the way to the government hospital but made it before 9am. My partner and I were going to inquire if there is a doctor who can perform mastectomy and how much it might cost, since it’s very costly at private hospitals.

Upon arriving we did not get to see Dr. P has he had a meeting at 9am and we arrived ten minutes to nine. It’s then that I was assigned to another doctor who she in turn took us to us another room where she questioned me of myself regarding health. It was clear to us that this doctor did not know the reason why I was there! I told her I am trans, she did not get me, then I said I am a trans man,  it still did not in, then I said transgender! I told her I want undergo mastectomy and she asked if I wanted enhancement! I was like NO! Top surgery, I said. Removal of breast, she asked yes I replied. What are you transitioning to from what? I said female to male.

She asked if I had chronic diseases, if anybody in my family has it; if I have been admitted in my life; if I am under medication; if I smoke cigarettes and take alcohol and for how long have I been taking hormones? Then she asked me to lie in the unclean doctor’s bed to be examined! I followed doctor’s orders but I was surprised when I had to remove my binder and she had not even closed the window curtain (net) where patient from outside could see me being examined! I pulled the window net to cover myself then I lay down. I did not expect to be bodily examined. She asked me to wait for her as she had to consult with her colleague.

My partner had leave has she had a session with the psychologist; it was the weekly one on one session with our counselor. The doctor came back signaled for me to follow her outside then gave me the bad news, that her consultant has said that there is no need for any surgery to be done has he see nothing for the mastectomy to happen. She told me I have to go back to Dr. P as we were heading to his office. I waited or Dr. P to finish his meeting but when he came back with someone else I guess she was from the meeting. 

A few minutes later the first female doctor came back and I heard follow me! I followed her thou I did not know she was talking to me so I figured I have been going rounds up and down with her so she must be talking to me. She did not tell me where we are going, then we ended up in this office where there was a patient inside he was writing a prescription for and I guess the doctor in charge of the patient. There were other doctors who were coming and going with files. I was asked to sit down in a chair that sank in and I felt extra little. 

The patient left and the this doctor who sat in high chair, being served tea and his ego being satisfied by other doctors not sure if they are interns or real doctors yet would jump to his request. He looked at me and said yes, I did not say a word then called out doctor! referring to the female doctor who examined me.  She was yes that is the patient, she replied. He then turned at me, I thought he would request the rest of ‘doctors’ to leave for some privacy instead the three extra doctors made themselves comfortable in sofa set aside and so I started talking about my needs since I figured none of them are going to leave.

He asked why I wanted “bilateral surgery” I explained because I have never really felt like I need them, they are heavy and that they are a luggage to me. He in turn asked me if I was born a girl/woman, I said I was biologically born with a female organ, he said you were born with female features; you have breast, ovaries, uterus! I said just because I was born with female sex does not mean that I am a woman! I don’t feel like one and ever since I was young I never wanted them, never knew what I was going through I just wanted them off me. 

I told them when I met Audrey; it’s when I knew that I am transgender and that there is a name for what I have struggling with. I also said that I used to live as a lesbian before knowing the name of what I was going through and that I came out to my parent’s too just the other year.  He said but your sex is female; and I said just because I was born with female sex does not determine who I am and that he implies I should have sex with men because I have female features! Which I have never slept with and I have no interest. There were silent giggles from aside but I never ceased my eyes from glancing at the nameless surgeon.

He said that I can’t just walk in to the hospital and request about getting a ‘bilateral surgery’ that he has taken his time to see me and that he has a lot of patient outside waiting to be checked by him! I apologized for that and told him, how I landed to his office. He asked me who my doctor is and why I couldn’t seek surgery from my doctor/the hospital I go to. I gave him my Endocrinologist name and shared that I also see a psychologist and about the mastectomy I told him; I couldn’t because it is very expensive and that I wanted to go to a government hospital as this is not just for me but for other Intersex,Transgender and Gender Non Conforming (ITGNC) persons. I told him I work with ITGNC persons and that some of us go to MP Shah Hospital and others go to Kenyatta National Hospital.

I also mentioned that we, in our organization are planning to have a medical outreach to sensitize the medical practitioners about ourselves; he went like we cannot work with other doctors and disregard the surgeons to be the last ones! I told him we have not started and we were going to there through the channels that we were creating and we do not have the funds yet to pilot the project. I also said that I met Dr. P and County health officer Jenny three years ago in the same Mbagathi District Hospital.

He told me to ask County health Officer to call him. I asked who should say it is what your name is and he said tell her it’s Mbagathi Surgeon; she will find my telephone no somehow!  He also asked me to tell my doctor to write down my medical history to bring it to him; and I asked him if he wanted my psychologist too! I requested if I could make an appointment for the Friday and the she doctor said next week Wednesday because he is very busy and he who won’t be in; but then he said to make it on Friday as Wednesday he’s is jammed and that Friday is a clinical day. As I turned and thanked him for seeing me and bind them goodbye with their disrespectful face appearance.