Ushirikiano Panda (UP)

Ushirikiano Panda’s mission is to create safe spaces and increase the well-being of intersex and transgender (IT) people in Kenya. The group is led by IT people themselves, and strives to develop a country in which all citizens are free to determine and express their own gender.

Intersex people are people who have been born with ambiguous genitals, hormonal composition or secondary sex characteristics. They do not fit neatly into the biological categories of “male” or “female”.

Transgender people are those whose gender identity does not match up to their sex. Some transgender people choose to transition, making their biological body fit their gender identity. Others do not.


The goals of UP are:

• To build community among IT people and provide safe spaces for IT people to discuss their issues, and develop self-awareness and self-confidence.
• To provide professional counselling services for IT people dealing with trauma and/or mental illness, and their families.
• To increase awareness and understanding of IT people, both within the LGBTI community and in larger society.
• To develop knowledge of the socio-economic and political situation of IT people in Kenya, including the health and medical needs of IT people.
• To change discriminatory policies in order to end prejudice against IT people.

email; ushirikiano.panda@gmail.com

LONELY

Why I feel lonely so terribly lonely, how gladly I would

run away from this, this aching void

This painful longing to reach out and touch someone and be

touched. I know that I have to face this moments that others

cannot fill my cup to the brim.

But it’s painful at times really frightening. There are days

when I feel utterly lonely and nights which I dread facing alone.

I distract myself with work, I seek contact, I try for attention.

I force myself to put on a brave smile but the pain remains.

The empty hours drawn on me followed by more silent hours,

my heart is thirsty.

I feel like a barren waste land, giving nothing getting nothing

meaning nothing to anyone.

Help me through the desert, for I do not see the way. I have

dragged myself to mirage after mirage and felt cheated each

time. And yet find myself rushing to the next false oasis.

Help me to look into myself, show m what I need and

how to find it.

Show me where you’re hiding and wait for me and

that will be enough for me. I will not wander

far, hungry and thirsty while you offer me

good food and drink in plenty

You have made me so great, too great for this world

too deep to be filled by trifle.

Fill my lonely heart as you alone can speak to my heart

in words you alone can utter, I wait before you in silence

Here is my little bowl battered and empty, fill it to the

brim as you alone can fill it overflowing.

If this pain, this emptiness has shown me the way to

you, when I feel lonely

We did not weep for the thing that was

once a child

Did not weep for the thing that had been a

child

Did not weep for the thing that had been nor for

the deep dark silences

That ate of the so-young flesh, but we wept

at the sight of two men standing alone flat

on the sky, alone, shoveling earth as a blanket to

keep the young blood down.

For we saw ourselves in the dark warm mother-blanket

Saw ourselves for the first time dead and alone.

We did not weep for the thing – weep for the thing

We did not weep for the thing that was once a child